Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond
"So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods or bad days. We expect them to be in complete control of their emotional reactions at all times, yet how many of us can do this?
Have you never yelled or slammed a door in anger? Have you never snapped at your child or spouse after a stressful day? Have you never given a hateful glare or complained about everyday frustrations?
If you have never done those things, then you are certainly entitled to expect your child to be a perfect human, but for the rest of us, for all of us who sometimes slip up, we need to offer the same understanding and grace we hope is afforded to us. We all have hard days. Bad days don't make us bad people. None of us are perfect, and we shouldn't hold our children to a standard of perfection that we ourselves cannot attain.
This is not to say, of course, that you do not correct a disrespectful remark or a sour mood that is disrupting the peace of the home.
It is our job to teach our children what is appropriate. Teach them that it's not okay to project a bad mood on those around them. Teach them how to handle frustration, anger, fear, sadness, and disappointment. Teach them that it's not acceptable to be rude to people. High standards are good.
Hold them to a high standard! But please, hold yourself to one, too. Don't project your bad moods. Learn how to handle your frustration, anger, fear, sadness, and disappointment. Don't be rude to them. Set the example. We all need high standards, and do you know what else we all need?
A little grace."