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A brother came to me asking for advice about some family problem, and during the course of the conversation happened to remark, "My family problems are weird. I don't think anyone in the world has a weirder family than I do!!"

To which I replied, "No, that is not the case. The fact of the matter is that EVERY family has its politics, and EVERY household has tensions that outsiders are not aware of. If even the household of Yaqub (a.s), the son of Ishaq (a.s), could have such high tensions that murder was contemplated, then there is no household on earth that is free of jealousy and intrigue and politics. Just because you are not aware of family tensions, and sibling rivalries, and aunt/uncle attitudes, and cousin jeerings, it doesn't mean they don't exist."

Rather than assume that you and only you have a 'bad' family situation, understand that Allah tests people with different tests, and one of those tests is family. Family brings the greatest joys, and also the greatest tensions. 

Spouses, siblings, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and all of the in-laws that they come with: these make up the fabric of our relationships and through them our own manners are tested. And all of this is done in order to allow us to pass these worldly tests and earn the pleasure of Allah for the next life. Allah says in the Quran, "And we have made some of you as tests for others - will you, then, be patient?" [Quran - 25:20]

Each one of us has a unique family, and we enjoy the good and thank Allah, and try to minimize the effects of the bad and seek refuge in Allah from becoming bad.

- Dr. Yasir Qaadhi


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